SEXY IS CHARM....

What is Sexy? Days to go to April: 2

Sexy is; Charm!

HOTEL EXTENSIONS....

WHY I HAD TO CHANGE HOTELS LAST WEEK!
Last week I checked into my hotel in Durban and was a bit lonely. Ithought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone books like escorts and such.
I picked up the phone book and found an ad for a girl calling herself Afroerotic, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs..... well, you get the picture! I figured, what the heck, give her a call.

'Hello,' the woman says......... Gosh, she sounded sexy. Afraid I would lose my nerve if I hesitated I rushed right in.
'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and whatI really want is s*x. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything!Now, how does that sound?'

She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line.'

TGIF-LAUGH!

Am warning you we are all in deep sh*@ if the stimulus plan doesn't flush....

Have a great weekend and spend your salaries in measured amounts!

COUNTDOWN TO APRIL!!!

Countdown to April: 5 days to go

Sexy is; a womans strenghth!

APRIL COUNTDOWN: SEXY IS...

April Countdown, days to go...6!

April 1 Countdown: Sexy is; Intellegent?

HUSBANDS FOR SALE!!!!!!!

A store that sells husbands has just opened in Johannesburg, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 -You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Please ask all your men friends to check out this blog for a good laugh and to make reference to all the women who can handle the truth!

I am adding to a posting on issamichuzi.blogspot.com!

Master!

PROUD ASSETTS...

April Countdown.. 7 days to go!

Masters Definition 1: Sexy is Audacity!

MSONDO MICS

I was sitting next to these musical instruments as The Msondo Band was setting up. Taking a good long look at them made wonder what it is like to live life as a musician. I have always wanted to be able to play an instrument, perhaps the guitar or keyboard. I realize now that time and aspiration is past.

A band is all about sound, sound carried by the "mic'.

The lineup. Stepping up to the mic is a weird experience. Almost 'out- of- world'. Walking up to a mass audience is unnerving. The best prepared notes can suddenly vanish in a jumble of skipped lines. The joke you practised all night in fornt of the mirror will be forgotten suddenly and the first greeting may illicit a stone silence from the audience!

I liked this shot, mic seemingly out of place but perhaps the sound man also doubles as a background singer?

The tent the band used was covered by a large Beer company banner. I saw many signs of past sponsorship or promotional shows by following the snaking wire of the microphone. Beer crates are also great for keeping the dust sensitive equipment off the ground.

However, I use the 'mic-rophone' a lot in my life, and my attention turned to the ones on the pictures. Hanging, strapped, jacked, dumped! It is perhaps the most vital piece for a band. As I was taking pics, I thought to myself, mmmh, if only the mic could talk back!

"Spot the Mic in the Tools Box"

SEX IN APRIL

This year is MOVING FAST! It is already April! Man!!

So, guys, let us breakdown our year and discuss 6 of the most important issues in our lives. April is designated month for topic: SEX!

Yes, there are 6 main issues, but in my opinion, they are all really related to this sex topic! We could actually just discuss sex all year and cover all the bases! But let us start with the main topic in a man's life. Ok?

It does'nt require us to be somewhere with loud music, liquor and curvetious creatures sashaying past! I will simulate that here on the blog.

Now, to take part, please send me all the questions you ever wanted to know about sex through anonymous comments here or on tgliundi@gmail.com. Plus send me pictures and stories about sex. I will accept anything. If you send a pic of you and wifey getting it on...ensure you were/are consenting to publishing! The funnier, the better. Ask/tell me about about MEN SEX and ask about WOMAN SEX.

At the moment, let us imagine they are ONTOP ok, now let's switch the game! You ready?!! Send them now! It starts April 1!

TO IGNITE THE WEEK...

A NEW TOY GUYS!!

Tatas are no matata vehicles.

Delux Models will have AC! Why not sell it for $2500? Do they realize how essential it is in our type of weather?How will this handle during the rainy season?Parking and fuel consumption should be easy! Am trying to think is this a UNISEX car?

Tata Motors' Nano:

The Nano, the world's cheapest car, will hit Indian roads in July, with expectations that demand from millions of aspiring car owners will far outstrip supply. Owners will be randomly selected from bookings made between April 9 and 25.

What do we think? Could these revolutionize our driving and road chaos? I would buy one!

SMILE

When things go wrong,

When sadness fills your heart, When tears flow in your eyes,

Just let me know,

I want to be there for you,

because.....

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My uncle is Selling Tissue Paper.

Buy 1, Get 1 Free...

Always Keep Smiling

SINCE WE ARE DISCUSSING FLIRTING AND SEDUCING...

HALIMA MCHUKA HAS INSPIRED US TODAY!

As I rule, I am very strict with what I post concerning my everyday life. As you see, there is no politics here, I love my soccer but I didn't mention what happened to Man U...nor our good turn at Arsenal...or pics of Prez Kikwete as many bloggers would love to. I value the free spirit of opening up a space for guys to log in and tune out of the rat race.

Cake for Edda Sanga General Manager Radio-TBC -who sprung the suprise! Bravo!

So, I am going out of character by posting what I felt was a very inspiring day for me as we welcomed Dada Halima Mchuka at TBC to say "Hello and Ahsante" while we sang to her loudly HAPPY BIRTHDAY HALIMA!

Cake for TBC International Presenter Rahima Kipozi! The new "young" generation at TBC!

True to her reknown character, Halimas' first request to her old workmates and new staff was to "work hard!"

Halima making her vote of thanks!

We are happy to see you have recovered greatly and are in such spirited mood. God Bless.

MID WEEK EYE-CANDY

A Bond Girl, a crazed woman in Gothika, A barebreasted first in Swordfish, A Catwoman, a powerful controller of the elements known as Storm in the X-Men, a highly talented and blessed woman who endured a womaniser Eric Benet and now a proud mother and business woman! Phew, that is only scratching the many credits Halle Berry deserves!

And now she has a new perfume for you...

She still looks stunning after delivery!!Her new Perfume is launching soon under her name; HALLE!

MID WEEK JOKE

BONGO CITY DAR ES SALAAM?

In my travels in the US, I was always impressed with City Slogans as you entered a State. So, here is a quick quizz for you! Hey, when reading a blog you are supposed to get involved so fill these in and quit complaining...

1. Chicago is known as the .....

2. New York is the ......

3. California is the.....State!

4. Dar es salaam is....

5. Mbeya or Iringa or Bukoba? You don't know?

Don worry, you will not be banned from these regions for your ignorance. Honestly, Dar is known as Bongo City! For very good reasons, this is the city of EPA! MISHEMISHE. MAZABE and ZALI!

So what do we think of the article below and what can we learn from it? Wisconsin actually has a "Brand Manager". I am inclined to think Dar, Arusha, Mbeya, Moro, Kigoma, Rukwa, Dom need to be branded. Oh, and Moshi town which is beautiful nowadays!! Masasi too! I am serious about Masasi, when I finish my graphics course, I will create a slogan with a silhouette of a Sindimba dancer!

Check this link and lets share ideas on various City slogans for Tz: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090317/ap_on_re_us/rebranding_wisconsin

HOMIE NOOOOO! DON SAY DAT!! PART 2!

So, where was I? Oh, yes, that chick over there all alone in the corner! She looks so damn fine! (One of these fine days I will explain in detail what I mean by 'so damn fine", for example, from what I can see of her legs, mmmmh mmmh, mhhh! That's for another fine day!!)

Its kinda difficult to figure this one out, is she a college student? A corporate chick? Fine pro? Anyway, it doesn't matter, ten minutes have passed and all that's keeping her company is her Savannah! Am going in guys, let's see if she can stand up to the Original King of the Savannah!

She sees me, I can tell. In a room of 200 people, a rare instinct can direct you to an individual that is preying on you. She shoots three quick glances my way that screen my swagger, my looks and attires, then she shifts in such a way that I end up walking behind her as she readies for my opening shot! Hunting is not easy!

Hey guys, first rule is, always make a frontal approach! Lock eyes! That way, your friendly smile and demeanor will ease the breaking of the ice. I read that somewhere.

I am now breathing down her neck, she briefly glances back as if to say, "You are NOT the waiter nor the Manager and I am not violating decency laws by showing so much back!"

BREEEEAAAKKKKKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to admit the truth, I am about to do this, but, I am useless at it!! Ladies reading this, help a guy out, kweli sijui kutongoza! I have never actually. It doesn't come naturally kwangu. Please, help me out. I will be most grateful and I will show my appreciation if you ladies list at least one of THE TOP TEN PROPER OPENING LINES WHEN A DECENT GUY STEPS UP TO A GAL!!

Pleaseeeee!

which one of these two ladies would you step up two guys? Gimme your reasons....

FINALLY! LOCAL EYE CANDY 7!!

DARK BROWN SMOOTH TONE, CROPPED HAIR, LANKY ROUNDED FIGURE, GREAT POISE, VOLUPTUOUS LIPS AND EYES THAT SAY A THOUSAND WORDS, THAT IS NEEMA, "BLESSED" FER REAL!

JOKE TO START THE WEEK

KANYE AND GALFRIEND, UNLIKE YOU AND YOURS!

There is always a catch!! When we glimpse the chicks that we eventually catch and own, we are first attracted by sex appeal, sense of freedom, charm, easy-going manner, humor and love of God....right?

Ok, I accept that some of us guys simply go for the gifts Mama bestowed!

However, a lota girlfriends tell me they have toned down the girly humor and charm because their "men manager" equate it to Flirting!

Slashed sexy, sassy and easy going due to perceived promiscuity and looseness.

Freedom is non-existent period. It is not a fair world, there are scavengers abounding!

Love of God is desired and paramount!

So, wats up with us guys? Why are'nt we proud to have women who gat back and can flaunt it? It is OURS right? Others can gawk all they like!!

How about Kanye here, his gal got that bold bald look and fits herself into these sexy garments! If he were trying to put up a grill all the time...wud she be hangin onto him like that?

BREAKING NEWS!! GROOVE BACK NITES IMESITISHWA!!!

TAARIFA ZILIZONIFIKIA NA ZA KUAMINIKA KUTOKA KWA PETER MOE ZINASEMA KWAMBA:

" ILE RAHA YA GROOVEBACK-NITE ILIYOKUWA INALETWA KILA JUMAMOSI NA DJ PETER MOE NA KELVIN/RANKIM PALE MZALENDO PUB, IMESITISHWA KWA MUDA MPAKA TUTAKAPOWATANGAZIA UPYA TUKO WAPI KTK KUENDELEA KUPATA BURUDANI YA KWELI!!"

AISEE, HIZI TAARIFA ZINASIKITISHA MAANA KILA JUMAMOSI MTU MZIMA ULIKUA UNAJUA WAPI UENDE KWENYE VIGONGO VYA NYUMA NA KUMIX NA WATU WASTAARABU!!

FANYENI FASTA TUPATE SEHEMU NYINGINE TUJUMUIKE! YAANI KUNA MASHOSTI WANGU FULANI NILISHAJUA WAPI KUCONNECT NAO....SASA NETWORK ITAPOTE KIDOGO....MOE!

Nimesikitika hadikichekesho nilichopanga kutundika sikitoi tena!!

FATMA AMOUR'S KAKAKUONA HIGHLIGHTS!

Bridal snazz! How about that, you carry the mesh veil around...so cool!

" Hey, lady, what do you love more, your man or your country?!" The patrilook was superb!

Good selection of male models, a girl in the audience had to be treated for excessive screaming!!

Look, a white Maasai! No, it is the leather and Maasai checkered koi that is creating the effect!!

The handbag collection was wicked! The girls were awesome, like this one, legs for miles!!! Have been trying to check up on her ZP5 code all weekend in vain...

Nope, not Rio, It was at Dar Alive, this pic was the unveiling of the Kakakuona (Armadillo) inspired event! If you wish to get the real feel without my corny-mid-pic-quips, go directly to modotz.blogspot.com!

Fabulous talent and entertainment Fatma!! Congratulations!!