WOMAN! HAVE FAITH...PLEASE!!!!

Knowing how women's minds work, I almost feel
sorry for Jesus had he decided to live a normal life
and got married, had kids, and the like.
I can just see his wife saying….
    
What do you mean you were wandering in the desert
for forty days? Don't give me that fake story about
not eating or drinking for forty days and being
tempted by Satan. I think you must be having an
affair but you are too dumb to come up with a
convincing lie. You mean that other woman was not
cooking for you?
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The other day I heard that you asked a certain
Sumerian woman for water. Does it mean that our tap
has run dry for you to go begging for water? I
figure out that you were not actually after any
water… you had your own designs. Why ask her about
her husband…... 
    
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And what about that woman who touched you (your
shirt) and felt well. Hee! She felt good! Where did
she feel good?! Answer me! Where?! How? I also need
to feel good….! I swear if I catch you cheating I'm
leaving and I'm taking the kids with me. Then
eventually you will have to face my father and the
whole cabinet of our clan.
   
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I wish you would just settle down and get a career
instead of just hanging out with your band of twelve
losers. You used to be a great carpenter. What
happened to that? At least you used to be able to
put food on the table when you had a job. You need
to grow up and take responsibility for your family. 
    
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You have been bragging around that you fed some
five thousand people with only some few loaves of
bread and two pieces of fish when your family here
is suffering from malnutrition. Eti "Magic"!? What
magic? Can't you perform that magic in our
matrimonial home and give us food enough to eat for
a lifetime? Give us a good house, and ornaments;
give us riches. Not going around and feeding other
people with borrowed or begged food.
    
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I think that you have been taking me all along for
a ride. I don't need a hippie for a husband! You
spend all day with those twelve guys and sometimes
you are gone for weeks on end. You don't spend
enough time with me neither with the kids. I need to
feel loved. Where did the romance go? Sometimes I
think you put your God and disciples before me. I
need to feel like I am number one in your life.
    
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And by the way, I don't like how one of your
buddies look at me. It's your boy Judas. He keeps
coming around for apparently no reason. He kept
popping in every few days when you were gone for
those forty days. He gives me the creeps. You need
to check on the homies you move around with....