HOMIE, DON SAY THAT...! Part 1

IN DA CLUB:

Ndio, leo nipo ndani ya club washkaji! Madj wanaspin madisc na ndio kwanza nimetinga! The place is hot, the vibe is strong na am feeling like someone deserves to be ma baby, baby, baby tonite!!

Place imejaa chicks, kama we ni mtaalamu wa madebe longtime, ni rahisi kujua data zao. Wale kona ile pale mapashkuna...kaa mbali, noma, wanaropoka hao! Mmmmh, wale watatu wanaozurura kama wametumwa wawe waitresses ni vicheche tu, tena labda under-age! Nuksi, wanadandia any guy ready kugawa simu credit kama wauzaji wa Vodafasta town! Duh, kwenye dancefloor wamejaa mashow-gals, wanadansi kama vile video ya Beenie Man ndo inatengenezwa! Kila wimbo wanakata viuno! Anyway, tuache kuangalia watu!

Lakini hili ngoja niseme...hakika ze place is sexed up, siku hizi watoto "wanavaa", aisee, yaani matits almost dropping out! Migongo wazi hadi mkato wa tako! Thongs juu ya mkato wa kiuno, na matako yamebanwa hadi cellulite bumps are like a bad butt map! Chicks dress to kill! Si tungelipa tu like LAKI kiingilio we could all be coming nude! Eh?!

Anyway, ngoja nisisahau strategic reason I am here! I gat money, Tsh150.000 in ma pockets! Why? Coz nitakachoopoa tonite ni sawa na ajali! I hit it up and we won't see each other again while I save tena kasma hiyo for another episode. (I gat my Durex and Bomba 3! for variety! Au wewe hutumii zana...?) Mimi sio mjinga, alafu, sitokitoki tu bure each weekend! Popo? Besides, here is the real breakdown of ma cash homie!

1. 10/30 thou kiingilio (kama at door ni 10 bob, labda nitamkuta outside na mwenzake!)

2. 10 thou for ma own drinks, which I buy expensive and drink a quarter bot. Nani alewe!

3. 30 thou for her drinks and mates, simpi mkononi, notes nimeshaweka front pocket straight to waitress!

4. Oh, I gassed up like 30thou since am hunting club after club.....

5. 5 thou for mhudumu-kuwadi wangu! If unsure demu kaja na njemba or not, tuma muhudumu, si unajua some guys come to club with demu zao then let them free graze....Huwa sielewi!

6. 50-70 thou already paid at a place called Villa/Inn/Motel/Cottage something...but never ......HOUSE!

7. Well the rest is negotiable fees depending on usafi wake, huduma na kama she gon start bargaining straight up....hate cash-up-front chicks...!

So, I gat money, I smell gud, all I need is the finest chick in the place..........Mmmmmh!

Ghafla naona totoz matata all alone in the corner, nice upaja! Am gon change ma game, siopoi mlupo leo, huyu she looks like Katibu Muhtasi Gelesha...what? Huelewi? Well, some Managers ajiri chicks hata kama watajifunzia MSWord hapohapo kwenye PC ya reception...Anyway, ngoja niinue game yangu, namtokea!!

END OF PART 1!