A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, “What would you like to talk about??”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the stranger. “Since you are a Negro, do you think that So-called President Elect Barack Obama is qualified for the job??” and he smiles.
“OK,” she said. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass -. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is??”
The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Barack Obama…when you don’t know shit??”
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
KIUBISHI UBISHI
5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is a man from Bongo.
Bill Gates: "Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave" 2000 people leave the room immediately.
Man from Bongo says to himself:'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try.'
Bill Gates: "Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave"2000 people leave the room.
Man from Bongo says to himself: "I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.
Bill Gates: "Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave" 500 people leave the room. Man from Bongo says to himself: "I left school at 16 (std seven) but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Hutu and Tusi to leave. 498 people leave the room. Man from Bongo says to himself: "I do not speak one word of Xitsonga but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.
Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Xitsonga, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'
Calmly, Man from Bongo turns to the other candidate and says...
"Mambo vipi?' The other candidate answers:
"Poa Mkuu... Naona umeng'ang'ania kinoma...!"
BLACKING NEWS.....!!!!
I am apologetic jamani, it is hard to escape Obama! I wonder when he will be out of the spotlight kwa kweli, hali ilivyo, with Iceland kama nchi inafilisika, makampuni makubwa ya kila aina yanapunguza wafanyakazi na mabenki that are also investing kwetu going bad....Obama seems to bring Hope!
He has very big decisions to make, like this one just in.....!!
Flag pole tu imeokoka!
Monday, January 26, 2009
WILD AND WISER
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 62).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red,orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him.
The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
'I got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red,orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him.
The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
'I got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
Friday, January 23, 2009
Letter to Sasha and Maliah
Obama-mania is infectious. This from (CNN) -- The company that brought the world Beanie Babies is now selling dolls named Sweet Sasha and Marvelous Malia, but a spokeswoman insists that the dolls have nothing to do with President Obama's young daughters.
The Obamas have not issued a comment.
President Barack to Daughters.
Dear Malia and Sasha,
I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.
When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me-about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation.
I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential-schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college-even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.
I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.
Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country-but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free-that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.
That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something.
She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better-and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be.
I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much-although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.
These are the things I want for you-to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure.
I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.
When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me-about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation.
I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential-schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college-even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.
I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.
Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country-but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free-that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.
That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something.
She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better-and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be.
I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much-although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.
These are the things I want for you-to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure.
I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.
Love,
Dad
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Obama Benediction Sermon
I felt the highlight of the Obama Inauguration may have been the concluding words of the Benediction sermon by Rev. Joseph Lowery
“... help us work for that day when black will not be asked to give back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right. Let all who do justice and love mercy say amen and say amen.”
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Smoove Nuru
Guys,
Take a minute to think about what the smoove and talented Nuru (of "Msela" and "Walimwengu" hit songs!) has to say about a couple of important men things and in particular, a "scratchy" habit we have that I hope we can give her answers to!
Lol!
Thank you Nuru for the exclusive poses. Wish you great luck with your Feb 1 09 Dar Launch. Will let folks know where it's at!!
Here is her take on some Qs....
1: UNCOOL MEN HABITS?
This habit that men have or do that is not really bout me being shocked, but I strongly dislike it. That is when guys or men stand and scratch their b**ls..this is a big turn off for me..yaani if some man can justify the behavior nitamshukuru sanaaaaa....
Another thing is a guy can chase a girl for ages but as soon as he sleeps with her, it is like they loose the interest....why jamani!
Another thing is a guy can chase a girl for ages but as soon as he sleeps with her, it is like they loose the interest....why jamani!
2: MEN WEARING EARRINGS?
I think guys can wear earrings, why not...but there is a BUT! Know what kind of earrings are for men and the ones that are for a female..some men like to push the boundaries but I think simplicity is the best..
3: STEEL OR PLASTIC WATCH, WHICH COOLER?
Definitely a steel watch ....but its just my opinion..I think when a guy has a steel watch or any kind of accessory which is metal just suits him more and looks good.
4: GENTLEMAN OR MSELA FOR YOU?
The last question is a hard one but I would definitely go for the “gentleman” who has a bit of msela in him...The reason why is off coz, I want my man to be the gentleman but at the same time I want to know that in any kind of mazingira my guy will be able to handle himself and that is where the msela attitude comes in…. mmenipata hapo…!
TUSHAURI PLZ!
The advice I have for all the men out there is that, always know and appreciate what u have meaning it starts with you...don’t complain bout your woman not doing this or that but ask yourself what are you doing for her!
Halafu kumbuka, any guy can get any kind of woman in the world once yeye mwenyewe ameamua na kujitolea kwamba she is the one,,,,but there is a difference between kupenda na kutaka!
Last and most importantly, this is for both sexes, love yourself first before allowing or letting anybody love you!
Halafu kumbuka, any guy can get any kind of woman in the world once yeye mwenyewe ameamua na kujitolea kwamba she is the one,,,,but there is a difference between kupenda na kutaka!
Last and most importantly, this is for both sexes, love yourself first before allowing or letting anybody love you!
Nuru
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