Monday, June 28, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
OUD&QANUN
Dear friend of DCMA,
Please join other music lovers for an evening of captivating Oriental and Swahili tunes of the OUD & QANUN on Friday June 25, at the Dhow Countries Music Academy. Various soloists as well as ensembles, featuring Palestinian Oud-master Ibrahim Najem, will grace this special concert due to start at 8 pm!
If you are in town and would like to secure your seats, tickets are already available at Memories of Zanzibar, Archipelago Café & Restaurant and at the DCMA Office.
For more information about the event (incl. sponsorship opportunities for the future), please contact us through the address provided below.
With many thanks to ZanAir Ltd., Memories of Zanzibar, Archipelago Café & Restaurant for their support.
THE DCMA TEAM
Old Customs Hse., Stonetown-Zanzibar
Email: press@zanzibarmusic.org
Tel: +255.24.2234050/ 077.7416 529/ Mobile (Marketing Manager) 077.3620202
Homepage: www.zanzibarmusic.org
Monday, June 21, 2010
SLIPPETY SUPPER
A young couple, married just a couple of weeks, returns from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives. The next morning the husband wakes up, showers, dresses and makes his way to the kitchen where he sees his new wife crying.
So the husband inquires, "What's wrong, Honey?"
"Well, I came down here this morning to surprise you with a big breakfast, but I can't cook or clean."
The husband smiles his biggest smile and says, "There, there sweetie! I don't care that you can't cook and clean. Come on up to the bedroom and I'll show you what I'd like for breakfast."
So off they went to the bedroom.
That afternoon, the husband comes home for lunch to find his new wife crying again in the kitchen. "What's wrong now, Sweetie?"
"Well, the same thing as this morning. I came in here to make you something for lunch and I just can't cook."
Again the husband smiles and says, "Why don't you come back up to the bedroom and I'll have my lunch there!"
So off they went to the bedroom again.
That evening the new husband comes home, walks in the house and sees his new bride naked sliding down the banister of the stairs. Up she runs, and WHOOSH down the banister.
After the third trip the husband asks, "What are you doing, Honey?"
"Warming up your supper!" she replies.
So the husband inquires, "What's wrong, Honey?"
"Well, I came down here this morning to surprise you with a big breakfast, but I can't cook or clean."
The husband smiles his biggest smile and says, "There, there sweetie! I don't care that you can't cook and clean. Come on up to the bedroom and I'll show you what I'd like for breakfast."
So off they went to the bedroom.
That afternoon, the husband comes home for lunch to find his new wife crying again in the kitchen. "What's wrong now, Sweetie?"
"Well, the same thing as this morning. I came in here to make you something for lunch and I just can't cook."
Again the husband smiles and says, "Why don't you come back up to the bedroom and I'll have my lunch there!"
So off they went to the bedroom again.
That evening the new husband comes home, walks in the house and sees his new bride naked sliding down the banister of the stairs. Up she runs, and WHOOSH down the banister.
After the third trip the husband asks, "What are you doing, Honey?"
"Warming up your supper!" she replies.
Friday, June 18, 2010
DODGY LOSS REPORT
A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband...!
Woman: I lost my husband
Inspector: What is his height
Woman: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Woman: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes
Woman: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair
Woman: Should be black
Inspector: What was he wearing
Woman: I don't remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Woman: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together.
(The woman started crying)
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!
Woman: I lost my husband
Inspector: What is his height
Woman: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Woman: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes
Woman: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair
Woman: Should be black
Inspector: What was he wearing
Woman: I don't remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Woman: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together.
(The woman started crying)
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
LES AFFAIRE...
Its not laziness, here is the reason for a couple years many Africans have been blaming it on lack of sleep Too much pressure from job, poor blood, but now the real reason has been found:
We're tired because we're overworked.
Here's why:
The population of Africa is 800 million: 200 million are retired. That leaves 600 million.
There are 200 million in school.Which leaves 400 million to do the work.
Of this, there are 100 million employed by the government.Leaving 300 million to do the work.
50 Million are in the armed forces & related jobs.Which leaves 250 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 150 million people unemployed.
And that leaves 100 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 50 Million people in hospitals.Leaving 50 Million to do the work.
There are 20 Million people in prisons.Leaving 30 million to do the work.
1 Million are Chiefs, Kings, Queens , Presidents, Ministers,Pastors, Voodoo or Juju Masters.Leaving 29 Million to do the work.
Now, 28,999,998 Africans are out of Africa . In Europe, USA, Asia etc.That leaves just two people to do all the work.
You and me... But you're sitting on your chair, at your computer,Reading this joke instead of working............That leaves one person, only me, to do all the wor
We're tired because we're overworked.
Here's why:
The population of Africa is 800 million: 200 million are retired. That leaves 600 million.
There are 200 million in school.Which leaves 400 million to do the work.
Of this, there are 100 million employed by the government.Leaving 300 million to do the work.
50 Million are in the armed forces & related jobs.Which leaves 250 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 150 million people unemployed.
And that leaves 100 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 50 Million people in hospitals.Leaving 50 Million to do the work.
There are 20 Million people in prisons.Leaving 30 million to do the work.
1 Million are Chiefs, Kings, Queens , Presidents, Ministers,Pastors, Voodoo or Juju Masters.Leaving 29 Million to do the work.
Now, 28,999,998 Africans are out of Africa . In Europe, USA, Asia etc.That leaves just two people to do all the work.
You and me... But you're sitting on your chair, at your computer,Reading this joke instead of working............That leaves one person, only me, to do all the wor
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
SINK HOLE COMMENTS
TAKE IT EASY FOLKS, THIS IS A SINK HOLE(I recall something similar appeared in Zanzibar 2/3 years back after heavy rains) IT HAPPENED IN GUATEMALA CITY AFTER HURRICANE AGATHA...You should know the rest of the news, however, I felt the scary part was over-shadowed by comments from people who visited the site with this picture:
EXTRACTS
7:25:29 AM
Jun 2, 2010
it was the silver surfer. don't you guys know anything?
6:50:17 AM
Jun 2, 2010
Walmart dug this hole to china. Our jobs go in it never to return, and all kinds of cheap chinese cr.a.p. comes out of it.
12:11:39 AM
Jun 2, 2010
NO GOD! I ASKED FOR CITY HALL! IN NYC!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
COINCIDENCE
A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too! "
"What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."
"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman.
"What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."
"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I switched cocks," he replied.
She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"
"What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."
"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman.
"What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."
"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I switched cocks," he replied.
She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"
ANNUAL FEE
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.
He asks, 'What are you doing?'
She answers, 'I'm moving to Nevada . I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free.'
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom & sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, 'I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year.
He asks, 'What are you doing?'
She answers, 'I'm moving to Nevada . I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free.'
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom & sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, 'I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year.
B**ch in the Kitchen!
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added,
"For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b*tch in the kitchen."
The mother fainted
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added,
"For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b*tch in the kitchen."
The mother fainted
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)